Review of Rob Henderson on Luigi, “Game” and Relationships

Thank you to everyone who tuned into the live video! Full access to the articles, as well as all the courses at courses.romanticdynamics.com and the 5000+ article compendium, Romantipedia, at:

SHOW NOTES:

This conversation delves into the evolving landscape of romance and psychology, exploring the dynamics of attraction, the concept of arousal, and the impact of social media on modern courtship.

Dr Paul and Jeremy Fox discuss the intersection of evolutionary psychology and romantic dynamics, emphasizing the importance of understanding both danger and desire in attraction. They also examine the balance between commonalities and opposites in relationships, and how societal changes influence dating behaviors.

Link to Rob’s appearance on Torenberg:

The Dark Side of Desire

Takeaways

• There has been little research on romance until the mid-90s.

• Evolutionary psychology provides insights into mating instincts.

• Arousal can be both sexual and survival-based.

• Safe danger can enhance attraction in relationships.

• Commonalities and opposites both play a role in attraction.

• Narcissism can hinder effective courtship.

• Social media has changed the dynamics of dating.

• Being interesting to others is crucial for attraction.

• Understanding personality traits can aid in mate selection.

• The future of dating may shift back to in-person interactions.

Titles

• Exploring the Psychology of Romance

• Arousal: The Key to Attraction

Sound Bites

• "This is the frontier in psychology."

• "The word arousal is key."

• "Safe danger is sexy."

• "It's about being social."

Chapters

00:00 The Frontier of Romance and Psychology

07:20 Understanding Arousal: Danger vs. Desire

11:17 The Dynamics of Attraction: Commonalities and Opposites

18:01 Navigating Modern Courtship: Social Media and Beyond

LESSON SUMMARY

Dr Paul and Jeremy introduce a discussion on the emerging field of psychology focused on romance, highlighting a significant shift that began in the mid-1990s when the majority of the Western population transitioned from being married to predominantly single.

This change led to an increase in research on singledom, dating, and romance, which was relatively unexplored before this time. The speaker notes that despite the popularity of evolutionary psychology, it does not easily lend itself to practical applications about romantic relationships.

The discussion centers on the innate instincts related to attraction and mating, which the speaker categorizes into masculine and feminine instincts. This concept resonates with Carl Jung's ideas about masculine and feminine archetypes, suggesting a cross-over between evolutionary and Jungian psychology.

Dr. Paul emphasizes that both approaches examine instincts that play a crucial role in human courtship and mating behaviors. Moreover, there appears to be a fascination with understanding how one can become an attractive mate and successfully navigate the complexities of romantic relationships.

Finally, Dr. Paul mentions a notable figure, Rob Henderson, and plans to discuss his commentary on someone named Luigi, suggesting that their conversation will explore these romantic dynamics further, especially in the context of modern dating and relationships.