Hi Dr Paul, I started using “acknowledge” instead of “validate“ with therapy clients after you pointed this out on an office hours call - it’s better. It preserves “validation” for approaching / establishing / confirming the truth and accuracy of a proposition, as science uses it - eg validating a measure through testing and refinement. It’s interesting, with this perspective, to hear how clients now use “validation” or its lack - “my partner didn’t validate me” - when feeling disappointed with them or unmet emotionally in line with expectations the client held - something may have been “validated” in the truth sense, in that moment, but not necessarily what they were hoping for.
I really like this anecdotal feedback. I’d like to do a Q&A with it as the question or topic.
Since this word has been reappropriated (along with many other actual neologisms that don’t have a prior definition), maybe the scope could be expanded on the topic.
What I have told patients is that I’ve been in practice 25 yrs and “we used to use this other, simple word.”
For example, “manipulation” - then they go “yeah yeah, manipulation!”
So there was a great clarity with “the old words” for behavior, and as a theme, all these new appropriations and neologisms strike me as very “vanilla” and obfuscating of the original more accurate meanings.
However, I don’t want to dissuade someone trying to express an experience from fleshing it out.
So I think the key to doing right with this is the principle that there’s a large variance in people in degree of narcissism. (It’s higher than ever before in society, thus all these blogs about it).
When a person is highly narcissistic they are using the appropriation or neologism to manipulate and will both cling to it and also won’t define it for you.
When the person is a more mature and good, empathic person they will immediately gravitate to “the old word,” which is the more accurate descriptive word.
Let me know what you think and see on this.
Then you can treat everyone accurately and well. Not only that, you get a diagnostic clue out of it.
Hi Dr Paul, I started using “acknowledge” instead of “validate“ with therapy clients after you pointed this out on an office hours call - it’s better. It preserves “validation” for approaching / establishing / confirming the truth and accuracy of a proposition, as science uses it - eg validating a measure through testing and refinement. It’s interesting, with this perspective, to hear how clients now use “validation” or its lack - “my partner didn’t validate me” - when feeling disappointed with them or unmet emotionally in line with expectations the client held - something may have been “validated” in the truth sense, in that moment, but not necessarily what they were hoping for.
I really like this anecdotal feedback. I’d like to do a Q&A with it as the question or topic.
Since this word has been reappropriated (along with many other actual neologisms that don’t have a prior definition), maybe the scope could be expanded on the topic.
What I have told patients is that I’ve been in practice 25 yrs and “we used to use this other, simple word.”
For example, “manipulation” - then they go “yeah yeah, manipulation!”
So there was a great clarity with “the old words” for behavior, and as a theme, all these new appropriations and neologisms strike me as very “vanilla” and obfuscating of the original more accurate meanings.
However, I don’t want to dissuade someone trying to express an experience from fleshing it out.
So I think the key to doing right with this is the principle that there’s a large variance in people in degree of narcissism. (It’s higher than ever before in society, thus all these blogs about it).
When a person is highly narcissistic they are using the appropriation or neologism to manipulate and will both cling to it and also won’t define it for you.
When the person is a more mature and good, empathic person they will immediately gravitate to “the old word,” which is the more accurate descriptive word.
Let me know what you think and see on this.
Then you can treat everyone accurately and well. Not only that, you get a diagnostic clue out of it.
Bunch of nonsense like I said. Use words like consensus meeting of the minds collaboration etc.
The word Validation is nonsense and unnecessary given our older more descriptive words.
It seems to me you didn’t read or understand the article as a burying of this toxic, poisonous word, six feet under.
What kind of BS are you posting here? It’s a bunch of nonsense.
Just say BS instead of 500 words ripped from AI Michael.
Apologies, I will remove
The concept of having an "internal locus of control," I think, is also an important state to incorporate.